Swing is the exchange of partners in couples. It is tempting to have sex with new people while being in a relationship, maintaining a safe environment and remaining honest. This kind of experiment builds trust and intimacy if practiced ethically and responsibly.
Getting ready
In a long-term relationship, swinging helps to maintain the spark. You experience something new together, you can discuss it, you can share emotions. Swinging gives a sense of security and almost zero room for jealousy. Couples who participate in swinging are only interested in sexual interaction. They have strict rules. Exchange is only possible in established couples. We’ll tell you what you need to know in order to get the maximum benefit and pleasure from this practice.
Define exactly what attracts you in swinging. For example, you like to have sex and you want to have new feelings or you just want to watch another couple do it and get aroused by it.
If one of the partners is into swinging and the other is against it, it’s probably not going to do you any good. It is therefore important to be sure that this experience is desirable for all. Avoid pressure and persuasion — even if you get a “yes”, it is unlikely that you can truly enjoy the process.
It’s important to know that swinging won’t save a relationship if it is broken. But it will help diversify sex life, if your relationship is based on trust and intimacy.
Before starting, it is better to discuss what interactions are allowed and what are not allowed, and in which combinations and variations they are possible.
For example:
- Only foreplay is allowed with other people (touching, kissing, oral sex, etc.), penetration is allowed only with your partner.
- You can have penetrative sex with other people, but the person you came to the swing party with, should not see it, if it is uncomfortable for them. There is also an option when any interaction with other people is impossible in front of each other.
- And the last option: any interaction in front of each other is possible.
Agree on the rules: what interaction is possible with other partners. Discuss all the details: from kissing to penetrative sex. This will help you avoid resentment and misunderstanding.
Don’t forget that no matter what method of contraception you use inside your couple, any contact with other people must be protected. Condoms are the best and safe way to do so.
Oral sex can transmit STI just like penetrative sex. We recommend using latex oral dams or condoms during oral sex.
If during cunnilingus or rimming an oral dam is not available, it can be made from any condom. Cut off the tip of the condom and then cut the condom lengthwise so that the tube becomes a sheet.
Scenario
Finding a couple for swinging is part of the process. Here’s where you can find it:
- At special swingers parties
Usually only couples are allowed to go to such parties. And you should leave such a party as a couple too. Take this into consideration when planning to attend a swingers party.
- At kinky parties
There are people who are open to experimentation, with fewer personal limitations there. And the rules of such parties require active consent culture or wearing a costume when there is a dress code declared.
- In special theme groups, chat rooms and forums
Be careful and remain anonymous if it’s important to you. Do not rush to trust strangers (for example, don’t send your intimate photos on request), do not skip the acquaintance phase, check for mental stability and make sure they share the same views and values.
- Regular parties or Tinder
This option is more laborious than the previous options, but it also works. If this is the way you want to do it, you should not refuse yourself.
- Friends and acquaintances
And the last option is to talk to familiar couples, carefully find out how they feel about it. Perhaps your perfect swinger mate is out there and you have been dining out together regularly all this time.
If you met at a swingers party, you can proceed with the whole process there. Or you could set up a meeting on neutral territory, at a hotel, for example.
Swinging is not just two couples. It can be four, five, or six couples. The main condition is they have to be long-term couples.
Enjoy each other. You can meet the couple just once or do it on a regular basis. Please discuss this in advance.
At the end of the process, talk about your feelings with your partner. Did you like it? Did something you weren’t prepared for happen? Do you want to do it again?
And enjoy it!